#i’m trying to be funny

[malachaitea]

Ever boop is a hit to the prostate, save your local bottom

[melonchanverse]

anyway @discendia THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LETTING ME KNOW ABOUT THAT you are like my lawyer who helped me getting out of jail june

[evilwriter37]

who?

what?

when?

Who? Viggo and Hiccup.

What? Kinky sex.

When? Now.

[questionably-audhd-oracle]

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I was cursed to always be the one who cared more and the weaker one, and the one left behind, and the one forced to endure the horrors, and-

[drsteggy]

Back in 2000, I was working at a practice where we had morning rounds. It was a nice ritual before the day started where we all got together to discuss what pets and client we’d see that day. Sometimes we’d talk about other stuff- Boss and I got really into LOST when that was airing and we would nerd out hard the day after an episode.

One day, somehow, the Ocarina of Time comes up. I’d never heard of it. In 1998 I was a brand new baby vet working for a crazy person and I had no money so I did not have cable and my internet was dialup. I had to pay for it by the minute. It was a different time. So Boss and one tech had played this game and they proceeded to to go on a deep dive for a solid week.

I was very confused. “The Legend of Zelda?” I was aware of the original game, and the cartoon. “They made a sequel to that?”

This got me A Look. “There have been several.”

I metaphorically threw my hands up. I definitely thought that discussing a two year old video game could not possibly be normal behavior. I learned the Water Temple Was Bad.

I left that job a long time ago. Everyone has moved on. I am toying with going to a conference in the fall, because I need to go to a conference this year. Boss is giving lectures at this conference.

I am contemplating going and apologizing for my attitude during this period.

[musicinmyears]

Found Heaven has no skips! Choosing a favourite is Killing Me (I think I’m funny)

[confusedspaceotter]

Guys I’m running out of ideas…

[runningoutofbooks]

The title of my never published autobiography:

Young Ladies Do Not Pee in the Woods

[ittybittycrocodile]

You know what? I don’t think we need the sun. All is does is give me sun burns, melt the north and south poles, and takes away peoples water. I can’t even look at it!!

[elnotwoods]

manic panic - the hair dye for people with bipolar disorder and anxiety

[ittybittycrocodile]

On the other hand, someones Grandma will probably die within the next hour and tomorrow will not be having the time of their life today! Someone will be fired, too. Maybe someone will have a car crash the week after their insurance ran out?

[404notdrowned]

ok but what if it’s not ‘kiss kiss fall in love’ what if it’s ‘kiss kiss get unhealthily attached’

[raven-miller]

Remember

(this is for the trans people)

If you hate yourself, you’re being transphobic.

and transphobes are yucky.

don’t be transphobic. Love yourself.

[milotonin]

on the verge of a mental breakdown because i can’t find a certain pair of navy blue shorts

[chaoticbuggybitchboy]

Sometimes I try to be funny but I write out a post and it’s literally just “[lgbtq label I identify with] culture is [symptom of mental or physical illness]” and then it feels less funny

[mifeng-xiaojie]

Imagine being grounded, but you sneak out of the house with your boyfriend and friends anyway. Then your mom finds out and transforms the whole house and starts chasing you with the whole house.